Political Philosophy, Cow style…

Ok so I don’t think any of the “jokes” used to describe political philosophies are adequate. So I decided to come up with my own, some may be similar to ones you’ve seen before.

republicanism: You have two cows, you vote someone into office that will tax you and force you to sell one cow.

democracy: You have two cows, you vote to raise your own taxes that force you to sell one of the cows.

Lockeanism: The government gives you two cows, they then become your property.

Communism: You have two cows, out of the common good you give both for the use of the society.

Marxism: You have two cows, the government takes both and gives the milk away.

Socialism: You have two cows, the government takes one and sells it.

Fascism: You have two cows, the government takes both and shoots one while selling you the other.

Nazism: You have two cows, the government shoots you and takes the cows.

Libertarianism: You have two cows, you tell the government to fuck off and then sell one of the cows and buy some weed.

Monarchy: The government gives you two cows but you don’t own them.

Theocracy: The government orders you to sacrifice one of the cows to the gods.

Anarchy: Your neighbor shoots you and takes both the cows.

Published in: on October 27, 2006 at 22:13  Leave a Comment  
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On the education of the idiot children…

I have had enough with going around on the internet and finding people writing in ghetto english. You wonder why the New York Times and the Wallstreet Journal are written on a fifth grade reading level. Just look around online sometime and you’ll see writing such as “foe shytt aight”, what the hell does this mean? We think that our education in math and science has gone to hell in a hand basket, what about our teaching of how to read and write?!

I saw an article a few months ago talking about the need to make the English language easier to write. How difficult is our language to write? Why do we need to go to a completely phoentic spelling of words when our language is already phoentic enough! Instead of teaching kids to look at a word and memorize it, we need to go back to the teaching of phoentics. Children today can’t sound out words, instead they use an F where Ph is to be used, K where C is to be used and so on.

We are slowly moving towards a generation of Americans who have no pride in the language of their homeland. We are moving towards a generation where a person will be allowed to spell words however they wish. It is time for our country to realize the problem that exists in spelling, reading and english classes. It is time for us toput a stop to the glorifying of the “thug life” or the” ghetto life”. Whatever happened to the American dream where people wanted to improve their station in life? This direct assault on the English language is a demonstration that people would rather become homeless rejects on the street than attain the better life that their ancestors came to this country seeking.

Published in: on October 21, 2006 at 20:26  Comments (3)  
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The New Bill of Rights

Amendment I

Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of non-Christian religions, or the free exercise of those non-Christian religions; or abridging the freedom of licentiousness, or of the liberal media; or of the minorities to violently assemble, and to petition big brother for not giving them everything they need to survive so they can continue doing drugs.

 

 

Amendment II

Voided.

 

Amendment III

No officer of the peace shall, in time of peace be allowed outside the donut shop, without the consent of the government, nor in time of crime, but in a manner to be prescribed by law.

 

Amendment IV

The right of the people to be secure in their persons, houses, papers and effects, against unreasonable searches and seizures, shall be violated, and warrants shall be issued, upon everything except probably cause, supported by a nodding of the head, and particularly describing the general area to be searched.

 

Amendment V

No person shall be held to answer for any crime, or otherwise immoral act; all persons shall be subject to be placed in jeopardy of life or limb more than twice; and shall always be compelled in all cases to be witness against herself, and shall always be deprived of life, and property with due process of law, and all private lands shall be taken for public use, with no compensation to be provided.

 

Amendment VI

In all criminal prosecutions, the accused shall only enjoy a speedy and public trial if they are famous, by an impartial jury of people they have never met but are from the same state and district as the accused committed the crime, and will not need to be informed of the nature and cause of the accusation; to be confronted with the witnesses against her, unless the witness be under 18 or their *health* be in jeopardy; to not have compulsory process for obtaining witnesses in her favor, and to have the most corrupt council for assistance.

 

Amendment VII

In suits at common law, where the value shall exceed twenty dollars, the right to trail by jury of people you do not know shall be preserved, and no fact nor law tried by jury, shall be otherwise reexamined in any court of the United States.

 

Amendment VIII

Excessive bail shall be required, or excessive fine imposed, or cruel and unusual punishment inflicted.

 

Amendment XI

Good morals not being necessary for good government, the enumeration in the Constitution, of the rights, shall not be construed to deny or disparage the rights of the people to do all immoral acts they wish.

 

Amendment X

The powers not delegated to the United States by the Constitution, nor prohibited by it to the states, are reserved to the United States, or the several states.

 

———Created by Joe Connole————-

Published in: on October 18, 2006 at 02:12  Leave a Comment  
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