Amendment I

Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of non-Christian religions, or the free exercise of those non-Christian religions; or abridging the freedom of licentiousness, or of the liberal media; or of the minorities to violently assemble, and to petition big brother for not giving them everything they need to survive so they can continue doing drugs.

Amendment II

Voided.

Amendment III

No officer of the peace shall, in time of peace be allowed outside the donut shop, without the consent of the government, nor in time of crime, but in a manner to be prescribed by law.

Amendment IV

The right of the people to be secure in their persons, houses, papers and effects, against unreasonable searches and seizures, shall be violated, and warrants shall be issued, upon everything except probably cause, supported by a nodding of the head, and particularly describing the general area to be searched.

Amendment V

No person shall be held to answer for any crime, or otherwise immoral act; all persons shall be subject to be placed in jeopardy of life or limb more than twice; and shall always be compelled in all cases to be witness against herself, and shall always be deprived of life, and property with due process of law, and all private lands shall be taken for public use, with no compensation to be provided.

Amendment VI

In all criminal prosecutions, the accused shall only enjoy a speedy and public trial if they are famous, by an impartial jury of people they have never met but are from the same state and district as the accused committed the crime, and will not need to be informed of the nature and cause of the accusation; to be confronted with the witnesses against her, unless the witness be under 18 or their *health* be in jeopardy; to not have compulsory process for obtaining witnesses in her favor, and to have the most corrupt council for assistance.

Amendment VII

In suits at common law, where the value shall exceed twenty dollars, the right to trail by jury of people you do not know shall be preserved, and no fact nor law tried by jury, shall be otherwise reexamined in any court of the United States.

Amendment VIII

Excessive bail shall be required, or excessive fine imposed, or cruel and unusual punishment inflicted.

Amendment XI

Good morals not being necessary for good government, the enumeration in the Constitution, of the rights, shall not be construed to deny or disparage the rights of the people to do all immoral acts they wish.

Amendment X

The powers not delegated to the United States by the Constitution, nor prohibited by it to the states, are reserved to the United States, or the several states.

———Created by Joe Connole————-